Not a bad headline, which brings "Bild" this week on page one: "Cathy Hummels soon naked in Playboy – With whom she undresses together". Our spontaneous first idea was: Well, with Mats, of course. Then we remembered that he had moved out a long time ago, but not with Cathy, but with her. So we flipped through the "Bild" newspaper: Cathy Hummels undresses with her sister. "Playboy" seems to be developing into a real family magazine. However, Hummels does not seem to take an example from the well-known lingerie advertisement of the Klum family, her mother is not part of the party.
Editor in the "Life" section of the Frankfurter Allgemeine Sonntagszeitung.
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A pop singer has undressed alone, about whom "Bild" now writes: "Naked Schlager Antonja censored!" Her new music video is "too sexy" for the "artificial intelligence that checks the posts on YouTube. The AI warned Antonja: 'When reviewing your video, policy violations were raised: zooming in on belly fat.'" For Antonja, even more annoying than the censorship itself is its justification: "A mockery! I don't have belly fat at all, but I do fitness and strength training every day," she complains. "This complaint is already AI bullying!" Let us hope that this is an unfortunate isolated case; We find the idea that Germany's artists are confronted with petty AI criticism of belly fat, cellulite or buffing arms in open-hearted videos unbearable.
Perhaps the AI is doing body shaming out of bitterness over the fact that it does not have a body itself. That would be almost as much of a tragedy as that of the neurotic on-board computer HAL 9000, which kills the astronauts in Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey" for fear of being shut down.
Jeff Bezos is likely to make happier trips with his new luxury yacht "Koru", which cost 500 million dollars, according to "Gala". "A real eye-catcher," according to the paper, is the "figurehead, which is allegedly modeled on Lauren Sánchez. A clear statement from Bezos: Look here, everyone, this is the woman at my side." A romantic gesture that is usually denied to average earners – unless they tell their lady of the heart: "I can't afford the barge yet, but I've already had a figurehead carved according to your measurements." Whether it is appropriate to knead an image of your partner out of polymer clay, if it is not enough yourself, depends heavily on your own artistic abilities.
By the way, the word "Koro" stands for "new beginning" in the Maori language, and Bezos thought of this quite practically: So the ship's name can remain even if the love has been extinguished one day and the figurehead has been sunk to the bottom of the sea.
Men know men
In the case of Sylvester Stallone's daughters, all three in their twenties, the dad has to go to the extinguished love: "He writes most of our separation texts," said Sistine Stallone, according to "Bild". Her sister Scarlet added: "I strongly recommend girls to go to their father and have him write a separation text, because men know men." We not only wonder how regularly the young ladies dump their lovers via Whatsapp, but of course also what Stallone writes. In "Rocky" fashion, "It's not how much you dish out in life, it's how much you can take" or simply "You're knocked out, boy"?
We would rather say goodbye to our daughters' friends with Wolfgang Schäuble ("Isch over"), purely factually with "All the best for the future of life" or trickily with "Congratulations! They're going to be triplets." If we were one of those dumped by Stallone, we would now ask ourselves after the revelation whether, without knowing it, we might have once exchanged love messages not with the daughter, but with the father.
Meanwhile, in "Bunte", ARD boss Kai Gniffke says: "I also want to serve the generation that built up our country after the war and that Florian Silbereisen and Andy Borg like." After the war, the country was built up by the Trümmerfrauen, most of whom are likely to be in their hundreds today; now we finally understand why the program of the "first" looks the way it does. The fact that Silbereisen's ratings are no longer so brilliant inspires "Die Aktuelle" to write the following headline: "His red lucky underpants have completely failed!" We don't think it's fair to blame everything on the pants.
Even so, as "Schöne Woche" writes, a moderator colleague has his problems: "Stefan Mross likes to drink beer and wine at events. It's perfectly normal, but does he know the measure?" Mross himself might answer this question: "Why the measure? It's called the measure."