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Updated Sunday,21May2023-21:33

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  • LOC Alonso Caparrós: mountains of cocaine, his time in 'Save Me' and the conversion with a nun in the Philippines

To the new Alonso Caparrós there are few things that take away the constant smile he has on his face. Alonso Caparrós is a new Alonso Caparrós, he says it himself without any hurry: "The old Alonso is dead, completely dead. He's dead and he's proved it to me." However, until arriving here there has been a very long, painful process of learning and many fears, even, of knowing that the greatest of their fears, the first of all, was the fear of living.

From that fear, from that catharsis, from his definitive redemption is born Start from scratch (Ed. Planeta), the new book of the presenter in which after many years adrift, Alonso made the decision to rebuild a life undone: "(...) There was nothing on the horizon."

Is it possible to start from scratch at 53 years old having been the Alonso Caparrós of the past, of addictions, of losses, of family conflicts, of pride, of so many stones? He has no doubt, it is not only possible, "it is that it is a wonder".

The woman is the closest thing to God. I totally believe that God is a woman.

The new Alonso now dreams of bees, of dedicating himself to beekeeping, of giving importance "to every ray of sunlight that enters through the window because it may be the last." A kind of carpe diem, but controlled. Nothing to do with the years of darkness and rage. And, perhaps, that's why Alonso Caparrós embraces everyone who approaches him. They are not false hugs, neither for commitment, nor for wanting to appear what it is not. Alonso Caparrós has suffered a cruel crossing of the desert. Weeks away from everyone and everything, locked in mountains and villages where the only connection with reality was the burden of conscience and terror he carried on his shoulders. and then came his wife, Angélica Delgado, his cane, his bra, the person who is waiting to hold his shirt to take off his sweater, the one who brings us a handkerchief when it is inevitable during the interview that tears jump, the one who observes and scrutinizes him ... Her savior: "The woman is the closest thing to God. I totally believe that God is a woman."

You tell in the book that until you were 17 you were a good kid and that from there everything began to twist unexpectedly. Would something happen? A lot happened to me. In the book I use the word unexpected because until that moment everything was going great and from a certain moment everything began to twist and had the drift it had. Things never happen for one reason alone, and that's what I try to tell in the book. A lot of things came together, a family history, addictions, fame, popularity at a very young age... There were many factors that led me to that stretch of my life.What did TV give you and what has TV taken away from you? Removing has not taken anything away from me because for me TV is a wonderful job. My father taught me from a very young age that communicating is a privilege because not everyone has the opportunity to do so. Save Me is over. A new fear? Well, look, let's see if you understand me, I'm delighted and I'll explain why. I'm sad, of course I'm sad because I love my job. It closes a very beautiful stage in my life, a lot of learning, a lot of reconstruction and that's why I have my mourning, how can it be otherwise. But on the other hand I am expectant, with my eyes open. Because when a door is closed, one or more open. I'm with that wonderful question of 'now what?' It's kind of a roller coaster.


The end of Sálvame is for Alonso Caparrós the demonstration that the old Alonso no longer exists. A few months ago the presenter received a resolution that had to do with his most distant past. "For a few days I feared, my God, I feared that my past had awakened again." But no, for the Alonso of before "it would have been a catastrophe", now he is the "optimistic" Alonso. "I have discovered that that Alonso, the one from before, is no longer there, that there is another totally different Alonso and that has given me a lot of satisfaction," he says.

He sounds like a guru, a motivational talk coach, an expert in positive thinking. He wants to get away from that. His book, he acknowledges, is not "a magic wand", it is his wand, that of "discipline", "perseverance" and, above all, "that of loving yourself very much". Because the old Alonso didn't love himself, or anyone.

What have been the fattest stones on this path? Human beings stumble over and over again with the same stone, but I try not to let it happen to me anymore. There are unnecessary errors. And if you ask me about the fattest stones have always been the ruptures with the ties with my family, with my children and with the people who have loved me and who I have loved. All other mistakes are things of life. Life throws you some cards and with them you have to fight and you do not always know very well how to do it.

Pause, Alonso Caparrós needs a break during the interview. He remembers the first time he sat with his mother after a long time and realized all the time that had passed: "I saw her that she had grown old and that I had also grown old." His mother's wrinkled hands opened his eyes to a very painful reality: "I was very sorry, sorry for not having seen my mother grow old and saying 'oysters, all that I have lost from her!' "Fools, how foolish we are," she repeats again and again, while holding back tears, while Angelica supplies the table with handkerchiefs.

Drugs are one of the worst things that can happen to a human being

Alonso Caparrós was a TV star in the 90s. Fame came too quickly, but not the fault. He doesn't even blame addictions. The drug was a consequence of a world too dark, a nightmare from which it took him a long time to wake up. "It was very bad for me," he admits. "The history that I dragged with my family, the pasts of my parents, what my family was like, the structure it had left me very disarmed. And then came fame, drugs, all that stuff that's so hard to manage, and it passed me by. But in the past I don't regret any of that because the way I see the world and the way I think now is the result of everything that has happened to me," he explains.

How was the first stripe? Were you aware of the hell you had just opened? I became aware much later. But that's a normal process within an addiction. At first it is total blindness, even, not only blindness, but it begins as a wonder and then little by little that becomes a hell. In the end when you are going to consume you know where you are going. And from the first line, before the first drink, you are already in hell. So, you mean that the first line is not the effect or the cause, but the consequenceLet's face it, most people when they have been young have tried things. A stingray, a joint, a pill... But for the vast majority it stays in that, in trying and trying. However, there are people in which it is much more complicated, in which it is a mental illness and that people do not understand. It hurts me, it hurts me infinitely that addictions are not seen as a mental illness, but are valued as a person's choice, as a choice of vice, of neglect. Drugs are one of the worst things that can happen to a human being. Until there comes a time when you are aware of your own destruction. In the retreats I went to just to discover myself, I wrote down all the fears I was feeling: fear of my father, Count Dracula... And, suddenly, in one of them I realized that on many occasions I have been afraid to live. It is a fear that paralyzes you, that takes you to a very ugly, very, very dark place, to a basement. In my case it has to do with the fact that I love life very much and I was afraid to feel things and to be free. It was the last fear I discovered, but the first one I started to solve and I continue to solve it. It's a matter of loving yourself very much. This book is that journey through all those things, knowing how to forgive myself and knowing that they have to forgive me. It's a daily effort, to give my best version even though inside I'm on everything. I don't want people to think that I suddenly go through life levitating. I suffer and suffer, but every day I strive to overcome the fears that maybe I think I have overcome and that, suddenly, reappear. But I don't despair anymore. Are you here again? Have you found the Alonso Caparrós you were looking for? I keep looking for myself every day. I am passionate about life, about every second that passes and what is to come, whatever it is. There are already two books and each is harder and more vital than the other... What would you like Alonso Caparrós to be the last book? That title must be put on when it is on the verge of eternity. There, on the verge of death, is when I will be able to say the title for real. Now I would name the chapters.Well, what is going to be the final chapter? Let's see what happens... (Laughs.)

The new book by Alonso Caparrós, Start from scratch, from Editorial Planeta is now on sale.

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