For a long time I have been concerned with the following: I am now 21 and have never been in love, not in a relationship anyway. And if you think that there is still enough time for this – patience has never been my strong point.
If you approach the search for love rationally, then the calculation is quite simple: About 83 million people live in Germany, of which at least 41.5 million are of the right sex. Of these, in turn, we can sort out most of them because they are not yet grown up or already too grown-up. So what remains is a pool of about 4 million potential partners, of which about 1.5 million are studying. About 17,000 of them are students at my university. One is enough for me!
Love is not mathematics. Nevertheless, a look at the numbers makes you a bit perplexed. And conversations with my parents and their friends anyway; If you listen to their stories, you get the impression that a few decades ago the university must have been more like a dating agency. Learning is a minor matter. The British royal family is leading the way: William and Kate met at university. And today?
It takes courage to talk to people
"Dead pants as far as guys go," complains a friend. "Everyone in my course is a bit weird," complains another. The university is the perfect target for singles: Usually the age fits, the rough interests too. The lecture alone reveals a lot about someone and offers something to talk about. Nevertheless, many seem to stroll across the campus with their heads bowed instead of looking for potential partners.
My flirting attempts are limited to a few sad messenger messages during the Corona period. If I found someone particularly nice, I asked for help in creating my timetable. Of course, I didn't mention that my timetable had been ready for a long time. Some fellow students smiled at me for it. I think this strategy is pretty ingenious – if only it hadn't been fruitless.
I've never spoken to anyone, and I haven't been approached yet. On the dating apps, however, the world looks different again. No one seems to be safe from the maelstrom of Tinder, Bumble and Co. Was it different before the pandemic? Were we perhaps more courageous than we are now?
Tinder remains the top dog in single-game
Looking at my best friend, it may become clearer what dating at university could look like in the future: A few months ago, something was going on between her and a fellow student – they spotted each other on campus and found each other to be good. But instead of talking to each other there, the two first started talking on Tinder.
Anyway, the dating apps have pretty much turned the way of getting to know potential partners upside down. And that's where the crux of the matter lies. The selection is huge, mutual interest is quickly clarified by a match. The initials of the university in the respective profile provide quick orientation. Dating from the sofa is totally comfortable, the inhibition threshold is low; it's less fun, but at least more enjoyable than having to struggle through clubs and bars. With the non-exhaustive selection of singles (and those who pretend to be single), the demands are sure to increase. Open, looser relationships have become more common.
So far, I have omitted one group of people from my calculation: the lecturers at my university. Relationships between lecturers and students are not unusual, but at least strange. Because the hype around the apps does not pass by the lecturers. One of them found me after an oral exam on Tinder, later a tutor on another app. If you believe the campus whispers, you might think that this is becoming more and more common.
Computer science students have worse chances
Very interesting: In 2011, 2,000 students in England were surveyed by the "One Day University Love League". According to the survey, 20% of respondents said they had found the "love of their life" on campus. The frontrunners are tourism students. Computer science students confirm the cliché and are mostly left empty-handed. There are no comparable figures for Germany.
Getting to know each other personally at university has certainly not had its day, but is increasingly being suppressed, one has the impression. This may be due to the apps, perhaps also to changing demands. And what does that mean for me now? Maybe it's true that love always reaches you when you least expect it. Dear universe, I don't expect anything more – so please don't take so much time. And until then: Alexa, play "single af" by Fousheé!