There are start-ups, where the familiarity of all, including managers, is set up as an absolute rule. And there is the vast majority of organizations, where employees have the choice to want themselves or not. A situation that can be embarrassing for a new element. "When you arrive at a company, you have to be vigilant about it," advises Marie Rebeyrolle, anthropologist and director of the firm Carré Pluriel. "It's still something important, which carries values and codes, so we don't do anything."
Three criteria to keep in mind
If, in business, "the norm remains the will", the transition to tutoiement depends on three main criteria which are age, gender, and hierarchical position. "By leaving the possibility of both, people will be able to cobble together logics of affinity, belonging, distinction" with their colleagues. "They feel like they keep their freedom, their free will, that the company doesn't format them."
Generally, it is the colleagues already in place who invite to tutoiement. When the subject is not broached, rather than going straight to a "you" that could surprise, "do not hesitate to ask, because people will be happy to explain how it works," says Marie Rebeyrolle. All this, of course, when you feel the desire: "I think you can not be in a hurry to get to know people," says the expert. This must, in any case, be a thoughtful choice, since the tutoiement is an irreversible decision. Impossible after that to return to the will: "It will be badly perceived, I strongly advise against," warns the anthropologist.
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