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You can't measure how good or bad a father someone is, as long as a child's basic needs are met. He will know what number his children wear, he will teach them to ride a bike and he will never take them to the pediatrician. Neither one thing nor the other is decisive, of course, even if all three give some clue. What can be quantified is the commitment to be present in the upbringing of a child when there is a love breakup in between. Or two.

10 years ago Adrián González Lipiani had a baby girl with his wife. Their lives passed peacefully in Madrid and like so many couples, they broke up. They decided to share custody, a formula that according to the latest data from the National Institute of Statistics, relating to 2021, 43.1% of parents of different sex in Spain support when they divorce or separate. Those numbers are increasing year by year: 21.2% in 2014, and 41.4% in 2020, according to the same entity.

666 kilometers away

So far, so much in order in Adrian's life. Until five years ago, when he began a new relationship with another woman. She lived (and lives) in Menorca. Their second child was born. Soon things began to go wrong with the mother, but she did not want that rupture to make her 'disappear' from her son's life. With tenacity and conviction, two and a half years ago he got joint custody of the child. Until that day came, she saw her son on alternate weeks, like now, although then she was only with him for one hour in the morning and two in the afternoon. During that couple of years, he lived in rented rooms, but never stopped going, except in confinement. The sting of this story is the 666 kilometers that separate his Madrid house from the island, or vice versa, because now he rides so much, he rides so much.

"I fly from Friday to Friday. One week I am with my daughter in Madrid and the other with him, in Menorca. I am a father by commitment," he summarizes. The easy thing, and surely the most sane thing for him, would have been to admit sole custody for the mother of the child and comply with a visitation regime, as happens in so many couples. But Adrian doesn't conceive of it. This madness of life that he has, airport above, airport down, is only understood from his vision of fatherhood: "The word that defines it is presence. I try to ensure that they also have respect and accompaniment," he says.

Your 'crazy' logistics, in a calendar

How is it clarified? How is it organized? And not least, how does this two-headed life pay? His 'gymkhana' fatherhood is neither easy nor cheap. "If you see my calendar you die. It is full of greens and yellows, a color for each child, "he details. He is self-employed (sells computers) and has been working at home for 20 years. She knows that if she signed in an office every morning, she wouldn't be able to take care of her two children. "I pay two rents, the expenses of two houses and the flights... I'm going so far to the limit that there are months that it doesn't give me. I don't know what it's like to have a coffee, let alone go out to eat. When a plan comes up with the kids, I throw in my credit card while I think about all the computers I'll have to sell to get by."

A return ticket Barajas-Mahón for within a month costs more than 200 euros. The hot dates close to holidays or holidays are terrible for your pocket, although Adrián has the 75% discount that residents of the Balearic Islands benefit from. It is also a bargain hunter, what a remedy: "I'm buying them in advance so they don't cost me much. Now Ryanair is going to get cheap tickets. I have to be attentive and look at my calendar, because after the school holidays [Easter], the dates when I get my son change and sometimes I have had to come and go in the same week. At Christmas, for example, I took three flights almost in a row."

"In all these years I've only missed one flight, and it wasn't my fault!" he says. His life is a 'tetris' where everything falls into place at the cost of a lot of effort. Some, from so much walking on this wire, would have given up or become ill, but thanks to meditation, he says, he can withstand stress without pills and without therapy. "Especially because it's very expensive and I can't afford it," he says.

He walks on a wire permanently, but thanks to meditation, he says, he can withstand stress without pills and without therapy. "Especially because it's very expensive and I can't afford it," he says. He has made resilience the nail to hold on to and also validates the good that surrounds him: "In logistics I am helped by the mother of my daughter, my parents, my friends lend me their car when I am in Madrid and in Menorca I have also built a network ... I'm pretty lucky."

My own father has told me he wouldn't do it.

The question of whether all this is worth it has a sharp and emotional answer: "My own father has told me that he would not do it. But my children don't have to suffer my absence because the couples haven't gone out well. I know the importance of a mother, but I am convinced that we also need the other 50%. Depriving my children of their father is a very big."

Adrián belongs to an association called Men's Circles, which explores what is known as the new masculinity. "We are dedicated to talking about what we feel and the vast majority of those who are looking for something have had an absent father and that has screwed up their lives. I have a commitment to myself and I could not live ignoring my children. They need me, it is their right, even if it means all this effort for me. I am responsible for their existence and according to that, I act," he says without hesitation.

I don't know if I will do something special. For me, Father's Day is every day!

Since he began this life split in two, he has no time for himself. He only sleeps alone one night a week, the only Zen moment he enjoys. Of girlfriends, we do not speak: "My most intimate relationship is with Netflix and from 11 at night," he jokes. "It is very difficult for someone to understand this situation and if they do not have children, their heads explode. I also don't have energy for a relationship. I try to enjoy my fatherhood, which is what concerns me now," he says.

He plays fights with his son, they ride bikes, they make the kibble... "When I hear him laugh it's the best," he says. This Sunday he will be in Madrid, but he does not know if he will do something special. "For me, Father's Day is every day!" he concludes.

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