From April 2021 to January this year, 4,726 couples of newlyweds were registered in the city, and nearly nine of them became "zero betrothal gifts" and "low betrothal gifts"
Sample of Hejian's "Zero Betrothal Gift"
On February 11, Wang Chunxiang, a villager in Xijiuguan Village, Hejian City, Hebei Province, "married a girl".
In the morning, the bride changed her wedding dress at home, and walked from home to the wedding custom reform auditorium 50 meters away.
The auditorium was already full of people.
The wedding customs reform auditorium was built by the villagers with funds raised, providing a venue for the wedding banquet and a kitchen for cooking. The host family (the person hosting the wedding banquet) only needs to pay a few hundred yuan for cleaning and seasoning.
Wang Chun is very satisfied with the auditorium, "It saves money, and it's in the village, unlike the past in the town's hotel where wine is placed, worrying about children running around, and it's not safe for drunk guests to go home."
Another highlight of this marriage is the "zero betrothal gift".
Yang Cuixia, director of Hejian Civilized City Work Promotion Center, and Guo Zimian, deputy director of Hejian Civil Affairs Bureau, also made a special trip to send blessings to the "zero betrothal" couple.
On February 13, the "Opinions of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China and the State Council on Promoting the Key Work of Rural Revitalization in an All-round Way in 2023" (the No. 1 Document of the Central Committee) proposed that localities should be encouraged to formulate norms for changing customs according to local conditions, and solidly carry out high-priced betrothal gifts, large-scale operations, etc. Special governance for outstanding issues in key areas.
"In the past few years, Hejian City also had this trend. The extravagance, extravagance, extravagance, ostentation, and extravagance of rural red and white weddings and ceremonies have intensified." Yang Cuixia told reporters that in 2018, Hejian City held a conference to promote customs change. Take the curbing of high-value betrothal gifts as the starting point and breakthrough point for promoting the work of changing customs.
In April 2021, Hejian City became the first batch of experimental areas for marriage custom reform in the country.
"The highlight of Hejian City's reform of marriage customs is the continuous emergence of 'zero betrothal gifts' and 'low betrothal gifts' newcomers, and the city's newlywed betrothal gifts have been significantly reduced."
According to the information released by the Hejian Civil Affairs Bureau in January this year, from April 2021 to January this year, the city has registered a total of 4,726 pairs of newlyweds, of which "zero betrothal gifts" and "low betrothal gifts" accounted for 88%. Compared with the previous average reduction of 70,000 yuan to 150,000 yuan.
"Zero bride price" wedding
32-year-old Yang Rui has an oval face. Halfway through the interview, the child's crying interrupted the interview, and she hurried to comfort the child.
After getting married, Yang Rui and her husband started a business in Xinjiang, running the business of thermal insulation materials.
In November last year, the second baby was born. After the new year, she stayed at home to take care of the child, and her husband returned to Xinjiang first.
Four years ago, Yang Rui was reported by many media because "the bride-to-be voluntarily returned the 180,000 betrothal gift". The scene of returning the betrothal gift was recorded on a mobile phone. cash, bowed deeply.
"At that time, he was choked up when he spoke, and there were tears in his eyes." Yang Rui only found out later that her parents-in-law borrowed part of the 180,000 gift money from relatives and friends.
"At that time, some of my little sisters directly said that they were not optimistic about us. Because there is still a brother-in-law in the family. If the brother-in-law gets married in the future, the parents-in-law will give the bride price there, and the sisters worry that I will be unbalanced." Yang Rui said that she was initially concerned. He didn't approve of Gao Caili, but the atmosphere around him was like this at that time, and everyone agreed with this number, so he didn't refuse.
Later, the government advocated "zero betrothal gifts", which she fully supported, and her parents were also very enlightened and agreed.
She thought that if her brother-in-law really needed to give the bride price when he got married, she would accept it.
Yang Rui is the first "zero bride price" bride in Yangguanzhuang Village, Hejian City.
Yang Guofeng remembers that according to local customs, in 2018, the in-laws gave 88,000 yuan when they got engaged, and another 100,000 yuan before they got married the following year.
Two years earlier, when his son got married, he also gave it out in the same way.
On December 7, 2018, Hejian City held a promotion conference for changing customs. At the meeting, it was proposed to focus on the management of marriage matters, and establish a "red and white council" in each village and community, advocating new marriages and simplified marriages. , by organizing "zero betrothal gifts" group weddings and other activities, "zero beauties" and "low betrothal gifts" were encouraged, and the "Implementation Opinions of Hejian City Spiritual Civilization Construction Committee on In-depth Development of Changing Customs and Customs Work in Urban and Rural Areas of the City" was issued.
Li Huiying, the deputy mayor of Shaheqiao Town where Yang Rui's family lives, recalled that when the city and town governments knew that Yang Rui's family was going to have a wedding, they came to the door together with village officials to persuade them, hoping that there would be "zero betrothal gifts" and the wedding would be simple.
Yang Guofeng said frankly that he and his wife were also worried at first, thinking that giving the bride price is the man's respect for the woman, and the gift money can also give the daughter a guarantee.
Li Huiying remembers that they learned at that time that Yang Guofeng's son had already married, and his family conditions were fair. After receiving the bride price, he would eventually give it to his daughter. "We also used this as a breakthrough point to persuade him."
According to the requirements of Hejian City at that time, "low betrothal gifts" and "zero betrothal gifts" were advocated. At the same time, the reference standard for handling weddings issued by the Municipal Civilization Office was: banquets should be controlled below 350 yuan per table; The price of liquor is below 50 yuan per bottle (500ml).
In the end, Yang Guofeng discussed with his in-laws and decided that neither side would set off firecrackers; the woman would no longer organize banquets; the 18 cars reserved on the wedding day were reduced to 6 plus a bus; Ten yuan a bottle.
"If you don't have three or four thousand yuan, you can't marry a daughter-in-law"
More than 30 years ago, when Yang Guofeng got married, he gave his father-in-law a gift of several hundred dollars.
After getting married, the family was poor and white, and he and his wife started a business together to run their own family.
A few years ago, when his son got married, he made some inquiries, and the bride price had risen to 180,000.
Xijiuguan Village Party Secretary Wang Qiulai recalled that around 2010, when his son got married, he gave his in-laws a gift of 100,000 yuan.
In the following five years, the betrothal gifts rose rapidly, and by 2015, the most betrothal gifts could be given to 300,000.
In addition to wedding banquets, wedding photography, etc., "If you don't have three or four million yuan, you can't get a wife."
The leading industry in Xijiuguan Village is the sales of electric equipment. Wang Qiulai made an assessment. The average savings of each family in the village is about 100,000. Even so, the gift money is a big burden for many families. Marrying a daughter-in-law borrowed money everywhere, and the village committee mediated many conflicting family matters because of the bride price.
"A few years ago, there were quite a few cases like this." Wang Qiulai said that there was a family in the village whose parents owed 250,000 yuan in foreign debts for their son to marry a daughter-in-law. "At that time, the foreign debts owed by the parents were not repaid, and the daughter-in-law was unwilling to use her own money to pay off the debts for the parents-in-law. The young couple almost got divorced."
65-year-old Shi Bingqi returned to Dazhuang Village in 2018 to serve as the village party secretary after retiring from a certain unit in Beijing.
I was “shocked” when I came back to my hometown to see the wedding customs in the village. “At that time, the bride price in the village was up to more than 300,000 yuan, and the poorer the family, the higher the gift money.” Dazhuang Village mainly grows vegetables and saplings. The annual per capita income of the villagers is about 30,000 yuan.
In addition to the bride price, the wedding specifications also rose together.
Wang Qiu said that before the reform of marriage customs, the most basic wedding specification was to eat at a restaurant in a township. Each table was at least 888 yuan. According to the auspicious number, each wedding had to book 40 to 50 tables; , Every time I rent a car, it costs 26, 28, or 30, according to the even number; it costs seven to eight thousand to invite a wedding host and scene decoration; the cigarettes must be high-end; the wine costs two to three hundred yuan a bottle.
Ma Zhongwen, director of the Hejian Civil Affairs Bureau, told reporters that before the reform of marriage customs in Hejian City, "the extravagant trend of extravagance, extravagance, ostentation, and extravagance in rural areas has intensified. Drinking the 'face project', the price of bride price has increased, and the burden on the common people has become heavier and heavier. On the basis of research, Hejian City issued relevant documents and decided to make the reform of marriage customs one of the key tasks."
The first "eating crabs"
Ershilipu Village, located ten kilometers north of the city, is a pioneer in the reform of marriage customs in Hejian City. Shilipu Village Red and Funeral Reform System, which contains 12 rules for funerals and 10 rules for red things.
Wang Zhiqiang, secretary of the Ershilipu Village Party Committee, told reporters that at first, it was because villagers came to him from time to time to report that the comparison between red and white affairs was particularly fierce. On average, it would cost at least 30,000 yuan for food and drink alone.
Wang Zhiqiang first held a meeting in the village, saying that reforms were needed, and the villagers agreed, but it was difficult to agree on how to reform. "These 22 regulations were finally finalized after repeated meetings."
Red event "The wedding fleet is limited to less than 6 cars, and all other vehicles are passenger cars; the price of cigarettes is controlled below 10 yuan, and the price of alcohol is controlled below 30 yuan..."
Wang Zhiqiang recalled that the "Er Erlipu Village Red and White Events Reform System" had just been promulgated, and encountered difficulties. No one wanted to be the first person to "eat crabs". Official implementation, there is a wedding in November, the wedding process was set in October, and the other party is unwilling to change."
"You can't just shoot empty shots at the first shot." Wang Zhiqiang and several village cadres visited the door several times, but the hostess just didn't agree. "Push everything to the woman's house, saying that the woman is unwilling."
In the end, Wang Zhiqiang persuaded the "Da Cao'er" of the wedding (the person in the village who is responsible for assisting the host family in organizing weddings and funerals), and "Da Cao'er" recognized the village rules and told the host family that if you do not follow the village rules, you will not be able to get married. To host them, the host agreed.
"Many families are not unwilling to follow the system, but more worried about 'losing face' because the standard of their wedding banquet is low. We said in the WeChat group that the village committee strongly requested this, and it also gave the family a step down." After five years of reform, Wang Zhiqiang summed up his experience. The most important thing in reform is "fairness." In this way, I don't want to lose face, and I am willing to follow."
"In fact, the reform of marriage customs in Hejian City started earlier." Yang Cuixia said that in 2017, the report of the 19th National Congress proposed "to carry out the action of changing customs and promoting the new trend of the times".
The central government and relevant ministries and commissions have also issued documents one after another, proposing to continue to promote the work of changing customs in rural areas, and to deal with unhealthy social customs such as bad wedding and funeral customs and exorbitant betrothal gifts.
The first typical example of their publicity was in 2017.
At that time, a couple in Hejian City got married, and the man's family was not rich. After learning about the situation, the bride voluntarily refused the bride price.
The main leaders of Hejian at that time made a special trip to visit the newlyweds with "zero betrothal gifts", and this incident was widely reported in the local area.
On December 7, 2018, Hejian City held a meeting to promote customs change, advocating new and simplified marriages, and encouraging "zero betrothal gifts" and "low betrothal gifts".
In April 2021, the Ministry of Civil Affairs announced the first batch of 15 national marriage customs reform experimental areas, and Hejian City, Hebei Province was among them.
The leader is the host, and the villagers have face
The Marriage Registry Office of Hejian City is located in a park in the north of the city. On the left-hand side of entering the park, there is a display board that reads "Gentlemen and Ladies, Yaner is newly married, hold your hand, and grow old together."
Plants such as silk tree, which symbolizes love, are planted in the park.
Shan Yanli, deputy director of the Hejian City Marriage Registration Center, told the reporter that the marriage registration office was originally located in the Hejian City Administrative Approval Center. There was a marriage registration window and a divorce registration window, which worked together with other administrative approval windows.
In May 2022, the marriage registration office located in the park was completed, and it is also equipped with marriage counseling room, certificate issuing hall, happy event meeting, happiness lecture hall, etc.
Every Friday morning, leading cadres above the deputy director level and moral models in Hejian City take turns issuing marriage certificates and wedding gifts to "zero betrothal gifts" and "low betrothal gifts" couples at the Marriage Registration Center.
Shan Yanli said, "Our reform does not mean that there will be no ceremonies. What we oppose is extravagance and waste. We hope to provide correct guidance through standardized registration ceremonies."
In April 2021, after Hejian City became the first batch of experimental areas for reforming marriage customs in the country, the Hejian City Marriage Customs Reform Experimental Leading Group was established with the secretary of the municipal party committee and the mayor as the team leader. Shan Yanli said, "The reform work is not only It is in the Civil Affairs Bureau and the Civilization Office. For example, the Women's Federation organized a public welfare matchmaker group, and the Youth League Committee built a platform for making friends with older unmarried young people, involving more than a dozen departments. Hejian City holds the "5.20 Zero Betrothal Gift" collective wedding every year, and establishes a public welfare Matchmaker groups, the establishment of the 'Little Orange Lantern' Marriage and Family Relationship Volunteer Service Team, and the development of the 'Happiness Lecture Hall', etc."
Yang Cuixia said that at present, all 615 villages in Hejian City have established red and white councils, which are responsible for formulating village rules and regulations for weddings and funerals in their villages.
The government department issued documents such as the "New Operation Manual for Hejian City Marriage Office", "We only provide a standard, but the specific measures can be negotiated by the people in the village according to the actual situation, and it is impossible to be a one-size-fits-all."
Li Huiying, deputy mayor of Shaheqiao Town, has also been busy in the past two years. After April 2021, she has attended more than 30 weddings alone.
She introduced that under normal circumstances, the village committee will report to the township when they know which family is going to get married, and then the township government and people from the village committee will go to the "main house" to be a lobbyist.
In her opinion, it was a matter of face for many people to refuse at the beginning. "In some villages, the village party secretary is highly respected. If the village party secretary directly stated that he did not follow the village rules and regulations, he would not attend the wedding. The villagers would pay the village party secretary more or less Save face; in some villages, it is very important to convince the big household in the village, as long as the big household agrees, no one else will say anything, and the big household values honor most, so invite the town mayor or even the city leaders to participate in officiate the wedding, they Feel more face-to-face.”
A well-to-do householder in a village still remembers the scene where the mayor attended his daughter's wedding, "It's an honor for the leader to come to the door."
Shi Bingqi, secretary of the Party Committee of Dazhuang Village, said that he started with the reform of the wedding ceremony. First, he reformed the red and white council in the village. The old site of the unused village committee was converted into a large auditorium for the reform of wedding customs, which is convenient for villagers to hold weddings and funerals, and also facilitates the unification of standards.
It is stipulated that the banquet should not exceed 12 tables, and the host family was worried that the wedding would not be lively, so the village formed its own drum team, "just take care of one meal."
Many village party secretaries told reporters that the most difficult thing to do in the process of reforming marriage customs is the reform of bride price, and the most difficult thing in the reform of bride price is to understand the work of the woman's parents. The reason why the woman's parents refuse is that it is a family matter. , refused to communicate; wanted to ask for a post-marital security for her daughter; worried that the villagers would gossip, is it because the girl has some problems that she doesn't want the bride price?
Li Huiying said that they will first understand the situation of each family and talk to them in a targeted manner. "The village party secretary plays a very important role because he understands the situation of each household in the village."
Difficulties in Reform
During the reporter's interview, many villagers also expressed their support for the bride price.
"It's a little thing for a man and a woman to get married, and it's also a custom to give a bride price, so you should give some." said Lao Zhang, a 56-year-old villager.
Sister Liu’s son is 26 years old this year and is still not married. “I don’t have a matchmaker to tell me, so I’m worried.” She also thinks that a bride price should be given. She started saving "money for marrying a wife" for her son early on.
30-year-old Liu Yunyun (pseudonym) is a practitioner of "zero betrothal gifts", but when her friends asked her for advice before getting married, she suggested careful consideration, "It is not recommended to ask for too much, but it can be appropriate."
Liu Yunyun said that after she got married, she found that there were a lot of expenses in her life, especially after she had children. "For me, my parents can support me, and my parents-in-law are very sensible. I haven't encountered any problems so far. But if I encounter The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense, and the woman may have no income after pregnancy. At this time, a little gift in the hands of the girl is also a guarantee."
Around 2017, Chen Jinghuan, a lecturer at the Social Development Research Institute of Southwestern University of Finance and Economics, conducted research in several villages in Hebei Province. She found that most of the women’s family members held Liu Yunyun’s opinion. It is traditionally known that the bride's parents leave the gift money for the son to marry a wife or use for his own retirement. Now, most of the girls are brought back to the newlywed family, so that the daughter has a guarantee."
"But women can't completely rely on dowry gifts to protect their status or rights." Chen Jinghuan's research found that husbands who pay high dowry gifts often put higher demands on their daughters-in-law. "For women, the most important thing is to have their own rights." resources, such as education level, work ability, etc.
Yang Cuixia said that the promotion of "zero betrothal gifts" does not mean that everyone will be "zero betrothal gifts". Whether it is the dowry reform or the dowry reform, it is not to prevent people from spending money, but to curb extravagance and waste.”
"The difficulty of the reform lies in the change of people's thinking." Yang Cuixia said, "There are villages that are doing well, and there are villages that are not doing so well. We are also trying to find a way to establish typical people and typical villages, so as to form a kind of atmosphere in the whole city. In the past, people may have thought that extravagance and waste and asking for high betrothal gifts were a kind of ethos, but through the promotion of the party committee and the government, and the formulation of village regulations and civil agreements by villages and towns, they continued to guide this matter and gradually changed the ethos.”
Chen Jinghuan has also conducted research in many places such as Henan and Sichuan. She found that there are many reasons for the rise in sky-high bride price. Pursuit, these problems are difficult to solve quickly in a short period of time, and the government cannot be required to solve all these problems at once, and the change of atmosphere is also a gradual process."
Yang Cuixia said that with the deepening of research and reform, they also found that the problem of older men and youths has become increasingly prominent. For this reason, four departments including the Municipal Civilization Office and the Municipal Human Resources and Social Security Bureau jointly formulated and issued the "Hejian City Older Unmarried Youth" "Double Assistance" Service Activity Implementation Plan", which implements "matchmaking" and "skills training" dual assistance for unmarried older youths with low education, low life skills, and relatively poor family conditions, which solves many practical difficulties.
Wang Binglin, secretary of the Hejian Municipal Party Committee, said: "In recent years, Hejian City has actively explored the work of changing customs and customs, and formed a good work pattern of joint management. Hejian City will continue to carry out high-priced betrothal gifts, large-scale Special treatment of outstanding issues in key areas such as general affairs, promote the in-depth reform of marriage customs, improve the spiritual outlook of farmers, cultivate civilized rural customs, good family customs, and honest folk customs, and promote the overall development of rural revitalization."
Beijing News reporter Chen Yajie